The Wisdom Medicine of “getting triggered”

Part one: the fight response

There has been a prickly edge in the air. Even between people who care deeply for one another, tempers are short, and love feels a little harder to access. “Getting triggered” has become shorthand for having a strong emotional reaction—often one that feels out of proportion to whatever set it off.

In this post, I want to focus on one specific response: Fight. That sudden flare of anger—the urge to snap, lash out, or defend yourself even when the situation doesn’t objectively warrant it. Sometimes we act on it. Sometimes we suppress it but feel the charge buzzing under our skin. There are other nervous system responses too—Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—I will do a separate post on each as each one teaches us something different about how we protect ourselves in different situations. But today, let’s talk about the urge to bare your teeth like a wounded animal when someone gets too close.

If this has been happening more often for you lately, be gentle with yourself. Side note for the astro-curious: Pluto and Mars have been in opposition—an invitation for deep emotional material to surface. Venus and Neptune in cardinal fire sign Aries may be stirring the pot too, intensifying our protectiveness and reactivity. Saturn heads into Aries this Saturday, May 24th as well. I share this because I feel this is the stars helping us surface the very material we need to heal right now. While it can be uncomfortable to find out that an anger response is a normal part of human life, we do need to heal our relationship with this emotion.

But astrology aside, here’s what I want you to know:
The fight response is a nervous system response to a perceived threat. It doesn’t mean you’re bad. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means something inside you feels unsafe. And more often than not, the part of you that’s feeling threatened isn’t your adult self—it’s a much younger part. A child part. One who never got what they needed in a moment of pain or fear.

So here is where the medicine comes in. This flare of protective anger is a sacred crying out for healing from deep parts within us that are longing to be held, loved and comforted. And here is my suggestion for you in these times: turn towards the part of you that wants to lash out with compassion and curiosity. Offer that anger some love and acceptance. Say “hello, I see you and it is ok that you are here. What do you need from me in order to feel safe?”

When you do this you step back into the adult self and offer the child self (the part that feels triggered and is responding with anger) the holding and containment that is required to channel the emotion of anger rather than express the anger in a lashing out. This enables you to speak up for what you need in a way that respects those around you. And the little part of you that never felt safe being angry gets held by your adult capacity. This is deeply healing in and of itself.

If you are struggling with all the tension in the world right now and could use some extra support please reach out. I offer 1:1 sessions brimming with generous support for folks in pain: physical pain and spiritual pain.